The Pain of Discipline vs the Pain of Regret

{5:42 minutes to read} Today, I have a very special guest joining us, Mr. Mark Bullock. He shared with me a story that made me think about a concept that I learned many years ago; the pain of discipline versus the pain of regret.

Elder care is a huge problem for many families. Once somebody has gone through this kind of process, they look at the decisions pertaining to insurance very differently.

Mark is going to share a little bit about his family situation and how it has been affected by these issues.

We are typical baby boomers. We have teenagers at home, and we have parents and grandparents.
Grandfather passed a few weeks ago, but grandmother is still alive. She’s in hospice right now on respite care, but prior to that she was technically home cared and soon will be again.
Although the grandparents had done a will and a living will, they had not put their home or any of their assets into a trust. They also had not taken out long term care insurance. The only way they could qualify for help with the kind of care that they needed, was if they didn’t have assets in their name. But, of course, that is not the case.
The amount of help that has been available has been minimal. Essentially, it’s come down to the two granddaughters (my wife and my sister-in-law), providing 20-24 hour care, 7 days a week, for the two of them. It’s a huge burden on the family.

Mark, if you could rewind the tape for the Bullock family, what would you have done differently?

I would have strongly advised them to get a good financial planner. We know everybody dies, but it’s not necessarily a situation where you are doing great today and then you are gone tomorrow. Being unable to take care of yourself can drag on for months and years. I would have liked them to have considered what that meant to the rest of the family.
I think there are really two prongs to it. Prior to becoming unable to care for oneself,:

Instead of distributing assets through a will, distribute them through trusts.

Take on some form of long term care insurance to provide the family some help when the time comes.

Grandfather passed at 101 and grandmother right now is 96. At this point, they’ve outlived their liquid assets.

Both my wife’s parents have passed, but my mom is still alive. She’s 74 years old. She has a few health issues, but nothing that’s holding her back as it were. But there is no long term care insurance, so we are already making plans for her to move in with us.

I don’t believe we qualify at this point to try and get her long term care insurance, nor would it be financially viable. That wasn’t something that was considered; the subject just came up over this last year. Fortunately, she doesn’t have significant assets, so we may be able to get a little bit more help through Medicare/Medicaid than we could for the grandparents. Given our experience with them, it’s right at the forefront for us right now.

Everybody’s going to die. As we get older, our health will usually deteriorate to an extent. Medications and medical technology are allowing people to live longer and longer, but not necessarily with a quality of life. The cost to keep people in nursing homes, assisted living, and/or in their own homes with aides and private nursing is painful both emotionally and financially.

A question that often comes up in discussions about elder care is whether it is possible for a child to buy a long term care policy for their parents. The answer is yes. There are basically 3 choices, which I will cover in an upcoming article.

The lesson to be learned here is to plan with a look toward the future. My suggestion would be for people to start planning now so that they protect themselves and their children from having to go through what Mark’s family is dealing with now. It’s never too late to plan, and the sooner you develop a proactive plan and strategy to protect yourself, the better.

Our strong suggestion is to get your financial, legal, and insurance house in order. Call us. We can help by reviewing your current situation and working together with proper legal counsel to get you on the road to protecting yourself and your family.

Registered Representative offering Securities through American Portfolios Financial Services, Inc. (APFS) Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services are offered through G&G Planning Concepts, Inc. which is not affiliated with APFS. Strategic Wealth Advisors Network and Gassman Financial Group are not affiliated with APFS.

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